when your heart is broken

i donno why i write about this...am i broken now? hmmm.. nope, i guess i am fine...so why? why? why? oh why? :p
i guess this is the only topic in my mind for now and nothing to do with my condition while i'm typing this...i'm just fine. i just wanna memorize the sad old days i had and i am finally i get over it. :) hehhehe sooooooo let's back to the topic......let's get it started...

it feels like hell when we found our heart is broken by someone. i dont know how many box of tissue we spend to wipe the falling warm water. i forgot but i think i spent some boxes..hehehe...yaaaaa....i locked my self in my room, i cried but seemed it didn't give any help, i felt like i am getting worse. i don't wanna eat, i don't wanna talk to anyone...i switched off my phone...i didn't go to work for 3days. . the worst was i wanted to kill my self. oh hell...ya i was in hell created by my own. i wanna scream, but i didn't do it. i was thinking that itt would just invite my neighbour to come and see me in this situation...so no scream...i was amazed how i lost my appetite without any appetite suppresant. Lol...3days without eating anything...i was just fine. just had some water, was enough for me. i wish i coud do the same thing now because i think i need to diet and lose some weighs but it seems like if i don't eat anything in 3 hours i couldn't walk. hehehhehe...i didn't brush my teeth, i didn't take shower...i didn't touch any water except to drink it. i was really in hell. i am getting worse and worse. i just spent my days by crying and then fell asleep and then awake to continue crying. whoahhhhhhh....hell hell hell hell....yeahhhhhh...in my own hell. :p
4th day...in then morning i looked at in the mirror. i was suprised, i saw the person in the mirror. it wasn't me i guess. it looked like an old sad lady stood there. but  i realized i was the only one who stood there. i turned my face to the right, to the left on and on...OMG...this is me. how can i be this old in 3days? i don't wanna look old. goshhhh.....i need to get rid of this. then i started to open my window...wideeeeee open....let the sun shining into my room...i realized how messed was the room is. oh yeah...i need to clean this room. i turned the music on...erased all the sad songs...and played my fave beat songs. i let the music on while i was cleaning my room, sang the song out loud while danced. yeah...in a while i found my self back. room done. time for me to clean my body... there was a time while i was under the shower, i cried. memorized all the sweet time i had but just ruined that way by the 3rd person. i cried again....let the water showered me. i keep crying that time but i had something in my mind i setted, when i get out of this room, i won't cry no more. i promised my self. even sometime i stil find my self crying...but i won't let it happens for more than one minute. i accepted the past and move on the future..i forgive but i know i coudn't forget.  i am just human but  the point is i accepted, i forgive and move on. none of his pic in my phone, even his number, everything had been erased. i really thanks to my friends who support me when i was broke. some of them gave me advices, in serious and in funny way. no problem...all the wnated to do was to calmed me down. i love you, buddies.

today i am a happy person, none of those sad memories insult me no more. sometimes i still remember but not to make me cry but to teach me to stand on my feet and become stronger and stronger.
so for you who have your heart is broken now...try to accept the past, the reality, the reason it's happen is because he or she dont deserve you. don't try to blame your self, you'll just set your self into a big hole called as depress. no don't do that. just tell your self you deserve someone better than that and don't forget what beyonce said "thank God i found good in goodbye'. don't do anything stupid by cut your vein, or drink alcohol...the point is don't do anything that could harm you. that is def stupid. don't play any sad songs, play happy songs or any song to encourage you such as "a lilttle bit stronger by sarah evans or one day you will by lady antebellum"...i have bot of these songs in my phone. try to listen to these songs, you'll like it. i promise you and it'll help to become stronger.
some comedy or funny cartoon, animated movies on youtube can help you too. a friend sent me "big bunny'...and yes, it helps me to laugh again. that's the first laugh for those 3 sad days f mine. hehehe....by all these means, try to do something fun to help you forget your sadness. don't stay in it too long, ok.
but it's all comes back to you. friends may give you advices, any song may encourage you but then again if you can't deal with your situation then all of that won't give you any effect. you, your self should decide to move on. sometimes we think we can't, because we love that person too much or you can't deal deal with pain...but actually if you think positively, yes...you definetely can do it. just change your mind set. ooopsss....i almost forgot...when you pray to God, tell Him what you feel....maybe you can't hear HIM right when you are praying but i'm sure you would feel different in your heart,you'll feel better than before.  it's something like you have already realeased the rope that tied you and don't forget to ask God to give you grace to forgive the one who hurt you. Gosh....i'm sounding like a pscylogist now. heheheeheh....

well...i hope my article would help you. this for now...will catch you soon again....thanks for reading...love you all....mmuahhhhh

Virgo "The Virgin"

The reason why i want to post about Virgo...off course because I am a Virgo....hahahaha...and i just love beeing a Virgo because I'm everything you ever wanted...toink toink toinkkkk....flyingggggg....Gubraaaakkkkkk...OMG...i slammed on the ground....hahahah....no more talking...here the facts of a Virgo....and believe it or not....all that is written below is True...Here it is...Let's check it out.....

        

Facts about Virgo

1. Virgos have a powerful personality.
2. Virgos enjoy being singled out by fate.
3. Virgos like to live on the edge, and their behavior with money expresses this
4. Virgos are often drawn to social or political activism.
5. Virgos are a study in extremes
6. Virgos are brainy and can deflate the pomposity of others
7. Whoever becomes friends with Virgos learns early that they expect loyalty
8.  Virgos are Precise at everything they do.
9. Virgos are undemonstrative. 
10. Virgos are Analytical.
11. A Virgo astrology sign person, will really like gifts that keep on giving; practical things they can use  
12. Don't worry about the worrisome Virgo. It’s Virgo’s way of contending with whatever could go wrong. 
13. Do not nose into their personal business, Virgo’s keep their private life private.
14. "Intelligence is key" to a Virgo
15. Virgo's fall for people who they think are just as smart or smarter than them
16. Virgos have a sharp, astute and discerning nature. 
17. Virgo are the ones who are likely to be fairly comfortable in terms of there financial and general position in life. 
18. Virgos are sweet, making few enemies and having many friends because of their quiet, and gentle manner 
19. It’s critical to a Virgo to understand the concept of service. 
20. What matters to a Virgo is to get it right the first time. 
21. For a Virgo the challenge is to serve without self-sacrifice. 
22. A Virgo has the power to heal people, if they have the right attitude they can do alot of good in this world. 
23. A Virgo is not overly ambitious. 
24. A  has an edge in intellect and a depth to perception. They can see things that we can't even imagine of. 
25. To a Virgo home is extremely important, and there attention to details makes them a good accountant, bookkeeper or nurse. 
26. What stresses a Virgo the most is for something to go amiss with the smallest details. 
27. Virgos are in fact the person most likely to begin a conversation with an unwary colleague.
28. The challenge for a Virgo is to create order out of chaos so that it can be serviceable.  
29. Generally, a Virgo hates chaos, but may be strongly drawn to it. 
30. It doesn’t matter how small or large a task is Virgos take pride in how well they do it. 
31. Virgos make a wonderful impression with their skillful insights and broad-based knowledge. 
32. A female Virgo taste is very good and her intellect quite developed. 
33. A Virgo female cannot tolerate someone using abusive language, coming late, dressing sloppily, not minding table manners, etc. 
34. A Virgo woman is very much attached to the ground and prefers to live in the real world 
35. A Virgo dislikes people who whine and complain a lot 
36. A Virgo dislikes disrupted schedules 
37. Friends of a Virgo: "logic" is the keyword here. A Virgo is uncomfortable with people feeling sorry for him or her. 
38. As a Virgo use your feelings more. Your emotional nature could be a driving force to success. 
39. As a Virgo people can have opinions that are hard to believe, but you must respect them anyway. 
40. A Virgo should avoid a Libra who is completely unable to take your criticism. 
41. A Virgo should avoid an Aries who is too bossy and will not tolerate your pickiness. 
42. A Virgo should avoid overpriced stores. 
43. A Virgo should avoid people with low standards. 
44. A Virgo should avoid helping someone. People would take your kindness for weakness. 
45.  Vesta in Virgo are natural healers with attention to detail. They will work until there is nothing left to give.
46. Vesta in Virgo have a wonderful sense of duty but they may not be able to accept that failure may result. 
47. A Virgo finds philosophical concepts difficult. 
48. A Virgo has an excellent eye for detail but you may be so meticulous that you neglect larger issues. 
49. A Virgo Womans body is like a subtle antennae, picking up signals about how to go forward. 
50. The Virgo woman is smart, and likes to follow a rational line of thinking. 
51. Virgo Moon is full of curiosity, yet seems apathetic at the same time. 
52. In a relationship, Moon in Virgo can be shy and possibly intimidated. 
53. Virgo Moon looks to the little things in life for their happiness and security. 
54. The God in charge of intellect and speed but don't worry because Virgo likes to take their time in the bedroom. 
55. A Virgo Woman is not a very possessive or jealous person for she expect respect from her love one. 
56. Office parties and social gatherings are not the best places to go looking for a Virgo.
57. A Virgo never asks for help.  
58. A Virgo is silent, traditional and serious. 
59. Virgo Women: Crisp wit, strong taste, and slow to relax.
60. Virgos are affectionate and devoted in the family, and are strong believers in blue blood.  
61. Virgos are perfectionists and whatever they do, they need to do it thoroughly and get it exactly right.
62. Many Virgos have talents in science, linguistics or mathematics  
63. Virgos are Highly Intelligent and many people look up to a Virgo. They are Straight thinkers and problem Solvers.

     

So if you are a Virgo, i think you must be at the same line with me...some people say we are so stubborn, we love argument....hmm...i think because we are smart, right? hahahaha...nobody is praising me...so i'll sing on my own...hehehe......:p 

Broken Love

I'm Here But You Don't See Me

I'm Calling But You Just Don't Hear Me

I'm crying But You Don't Listen

My Heart Breaks....You Just Don't Know

 

 I’m always wondering, why I’m still seeking for someone that will make me complete, someone who will promise  to stay beside me.. someone who will love me more that I love him. but it is always be a fairytale. and now I  see my self in the dark and always carrying this broken heart and i accept the truth about me, that no one will dare to share their “LOVE” with me.

 

 

My Broken Dream

I'm not supposed to love you

I'm not supposed to care

I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were here

I'm not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do

I'm sorry i can't help it cause I'm in love with you...

 

 

I'm in love but in the same time i have to kill it.

how i can forget him.. he’s still my life, but he broke me in half… I gave him my heart but still he broke it apart.. I’m really pathetic.. can someone help me forget?

Dating Asian woman, Part II

hello...i'm back again here...i have many topics to write down but i prefer to write about this one. i've been spending more time on this romance site, created a real id for me and a fake id as a men. i have already told ya about the reason i created an id there (real id) on Dating Asian Woman Part 1 and now i'm gonna tell ya the reason why i created a male id. a friend of mine was there to find his love and he met a woman, he joined to be a gold member but in few days he closed his id. he has some reasons to do that. one of the reason is "the girl he met was not real" i can't tell ya from which country is this girl but definitely not from my country. well...let me give you some clues...this country is in asia, they appear similar with indonesian people but they are sexier than us. heheh...ya i have reason to say this because i've seen their sexiest and hottiest pics. most of them will put some sexy pics to grab guy's attention. are those pics real or fake? let's check it out. ...

my friend said that this girl is so nice and pretty. he sent her pic...and yessss..she is so pretty. after spent a while with her on chat, my friend sent her some money for the passport. she got the money and lost for few days and after few days she came and said hi again and asked for another money for her birthday. i warned him before but seems like love conquer all...heheheh...kidding buddy...and in fact that my friend sent the money to a scammer. ooohhh so sad to hear that....anyway, he got so many mails and interest from the girls in AD. he said...'wowwww....i have lots of mails and interests. they blow out my inbox"...i was thinking..."oya? why i just got some?"...hehehe....never mind for that. then he continued..."but i don't trust any of these girls, they might just a scammers as you said"....actually i didn't mean to kill his "willing" in finding a right one, i just warned him to be more careful cuz we don't know who is playing behind that id. a real one or fake one. and i was a lil bit curios about what he said that he got lots of interest and they sent many emails....departing from this...i created a fake male id. working in financial area with a good salary. and guess what? at the first day, i got 17 interest, some chat, 13 inbox.and more and moreeeeee.......i guess you guys will be at the same line with me. most of you got so many interests and inbox. 

i found that some pics they are using there are fake. i mean it's not their pics but someone else's pics. i saw few pics i used to put on my fake facebook id is also using there in AD. pics of beautiful and sexy girls. hmmmm.....many scammers on AD. becareful buddy

anyway, i would like to give you some advices if you really want to know about the girl you are chatting with, wether she is real or fake. a real girl won't refuse you when you ask for a video call, but a fake one does. she's gonna make lots of excuses and one of the excuses is "i have no skype or i have no yahoo messenger id"....oh come on....it's easy to make that id. if she doesn't have private computer, she can go to a net cafe nearby...ask for a telephone number, ask more of her pics with her family and friends. ask more than 10pics.  some scammers are smart, they can get those pics you want so easily. because it's easy to acces someone's album on facebook. hey...why don't you try to ask for her facebook id? if she said she doesn't have it...well...ask her to make it. the truth is many asian using facebook...it's impossible if she doesn't have it. maybe we can say 80% girls you found on net have facebook. trust me buddy, it's true. 

i still have many things to written down here but i guess i gotta go because i'm feeling starving now...hehehehe....but before i go, i want to leave some messages for you guyz who are using AD to find your girl....to get a nice and real girl you have to get out of your comfortable bed and sit...don't just sit and type...and type...it's not gonna work....helloooo...you are looking for a life time partner here not chat partner. you can't just get her on net, feeling attracted, ask them to come, send them money. ahhh...if they are really come to you...it's ok....what if they're just a scammer? then your money is just for nothing. hmmmm...poor you. (sorry buddy...heheheh) ... some guyz were dissapointed after married a girl from net. why? because it's too soon to decide it without knowing each other characters. helllooooooooooooooo......life time partner, beib......hehehehehe...
please don't be sad after reading this...keep searching and don't just follow what your mind thinks...it's your heart matter. if you don't feel comfortable...leave her...there's plenty girls waiting to be found....:p....don't force your self and don't just start something that finally can attack you or make you suffer. this is for now buddy...if i have something more....i'll tell you soon. hehehehe......hope you guyz like my article...you are very to comment here. okay....waiting.....:)

this is my fake id...see how they blow my inbox....heheheh

i miss you

i miss you

i miss our conversation

i miss your jokes

i miss your laugh

i miss your sarcasm

i miss your sweetness

hahahahhaha......i miss you so much...................

always be my baby

"Always Be My Baby"

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you wanna be free
So I'll let you fly
'Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die

[Chorus:]
You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Boy don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave boy
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably
You'll be back again
'Cause you know in your heart babe
Our love will never end

[Chorus]

I know that you'll be back boy
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder
I know that you'll be right back baby
Oh baby believe me it's only a matter of time

[Chorus]